


and i'm gonna be fine (but maybe not tonight)

by serelenty



Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Bittersweet, M/M, Pining, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:06:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24081787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serelenty/pseuds/serelenty
Summary: fai, despite his looks and personality, never was an actual coward. (too fast for freedom)but running away was just so much easier. (these chains never leave me)
Relationships: Fay D. Fluorite/Kurogane
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	and i'm gonna be fine (but maybe not tonight)

**Author's Note:**

> KUROFAI NATION, RISE UP. IT'S 2020 AND WE ARE HERE AND WE LIVE.
> 
> altho this was inspired by florence+the machine's delilah, the ''outro'' is from no light no light, in which i also modified to make more of a sense somehow
> 
> i am very sorry but this is absolutely not beta-ed at all 🤪  
> 05/10 edit: it is now beta-ed. i did it. thank you,

_would you leave me, if i told what i've done  
would you leave me, if i told what i become  
it's just so easy to lie to a crowd  
but it's so hard, my love  
to say the truth alone_

-

The rooms were very little, so they were sleeping in a separate one from the children. Nothing too much; a big, comfortable futon and a cabinet of sorts.

Fai slowly turned around to look at Kurogane, and as slowly, got closer and closer to him, breathing less and less, until he didn't. Until his eyes were hooded and his nose a thread away from Kurogane's. He hesitated. "aren't you going to move?" Fai whispered in a way that he himself barely heard, but that Kurogane definitely did. 

"if you knew I was awake, why did you came?" Eyes still closed, it was impossible for Kurogane to whisper, his natural loud voice and yet low tone didn't let him, so this was different from a whisper; it was like he was talking inside of Fai's ears, pounding inside his mind. Fai opened a small smile that only a very little amount of people knew it was fake. 

" _because_ you were sleeping. the difference is that you woke up after I started moving closer", and even though he was still whispering, there was something different that came with the fake smile.

Kurogane slightly sighed, maybe because of the closeness, maybe because he was hiding something, but he calmly opened his eyes anyway, that immediately met Fai's. Nothing happened for several seconds. 

"so? what were you gonna do?" Fai heard it in his head again, even though he fully knew Kurogane was clearly speaking. Hopefully he wouldn't have any dreams about that. Then Fai's smile appeared again, portraying a real emotion this time, just that it was very melancholic. 

"nevermind that", he tried to sound as much as if he really meant it, straightening up instead of turning back around because, _maybe_ , he needed some air. But Kurogane was faster and grabbed his wrist, and the last time Fai looked that surprised was kind of too long ago. 

Kurogane had the same semblance he always had: unreadable. His dark red eyes shining way too bright for the very dim moonlight light that passed through the curtains to be blamed. And _that_ was something Fai dreamed about way too many times. 

Now Kuragone really sighed. "you run away a whole lot for someone so powerful", and it was like a threat. Maybe it was. But most importantly, it was a _dare_. Kurogane had this thing where he can portray two very different feelings at the same time. And he wasn't wrong, Fai did run away a lot; from Kurogane, from feelings, from decisions, and from anything else. Everything is easier that way.

And those are all things Fai's desperately trying to run away from right now, since the regret is hitting. Although, deep down, he doesn't really knows why since Kurogane is apparently daring him to do what he was going to. Maybe he's just too used to it. Figures. But maybe this time, _this one time_ , he's going to be as brave as Kurogane wants him to be. _Apparently_. 

Bets are all fun and games, unless you're doing one with yourself. So even deciding so, Fai still didn't move and just kind of stared at Kurogane's hand on his wrist, frowning a bit. Kurogane huffed. Uh-oh. Fai took the courage to look at him, but suddenly, time slowed down as Kurogane straighted himself up, and as if it was the easiest thing in the world, kissed Fai.

It wasn't anything too astonishing, heavy buy not rough, and as Fai's mind went blank, he couldn't really do anything back. So Kurogane calmly got away from him, though not too much, while Fai was just there, petrified, but not really. And for the third time in about 6 minutes, Kurogane sighed. "weren't you gonna do this, anyway?" 

Fai blinked away the surprised and tried to sound as normal and cohesive as possible. "yeah, but when you weren't awake and didn't knew that I did it" Kurogane, still holding Fai's wrist, lightly pulled him closer. "why?" His voice got lower again, though not as much as a whisper, but enough. And Fai maybe was a little enticed by it, so he responded at the same length, letting himself be pulled. "you know I hate to have to deal with things".

"even me?" Kurogane said, now dangerously closer, his eyes hooding, and if Fai didn't knew him well enough, he would say he heard a tad of sadness in Kurogane's voice. But it still was like Fai got stabbed and forgot to feel the pain. He let his wrist go out of Kurogane's hold and opened the same melancholic smile as before as he reached both hands towards Kurogane's neck to hold him as softly as he didn't even think he could hold something with so much care. 

Maybe Sakura. But this was entirely, wholly and completely different.

"mostly and above all, you" Fai whispered, and before Kurogane said anything else, just out of fear of what he could say, kissed him.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading!!!!  
> don't forget that kudos are writers food and we need it to survive 😭


End file.
